awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
