: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize