So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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