Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
