I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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