On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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