I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I would fuck him just for his dog
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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