i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
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it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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