I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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