This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i have herpe
just one?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
