My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
