If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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