LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
