What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize