ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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