Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did i walk over a car last night?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
