Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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