i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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