it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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