I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
