If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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