I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
this hospital has no fireball
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
