and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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