...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
