She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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