I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think people are normalizing furries
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