Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
