New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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