when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
