she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
