She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize