All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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