you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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