I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
