I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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