it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
is that a dick in a sweater?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
