I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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