google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
