1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
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I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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