Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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