Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
