Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You made out with two different species that night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize