let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
