giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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