I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i will never coherently bang her
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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