seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
