I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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