It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
