it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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