so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she looked like the before picture.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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