so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
