so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
