She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
