Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
