Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize