How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
