READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
