that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
