I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
