Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im holly from the hills drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
