You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
