I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
