I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
