it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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