ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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