You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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