I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
