I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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